Hahahahaha! This morning I am having a lovely little chuckle to myself and I’m insanely thankful I have some hearing, because in this traffic-jammed bus, where silence has fallen, a man is singing along to his – I kid you not – Walkman!
He is wearing the old-fashioned headphones, and keeps belting out songs in that wonderful out-of-tune way you do when you sing without hearing your voice properly.
Haha! Seriously it's the funniest thing I have ever heard. And being deaf, I really don't get to hear many funny things…
It's rather sweet, that in this inhibited world we live in, he is so uninhibited. Happy to sing without a care in the world. Happy in his own skin.
Last night however, I was less thankful to have hearing. After two classes at the gym, I was shattered and stumbled to bed earlier than usual, only to be woken up at 11.45pm by a group of drunken idiots having a fight outside my house. RIGHT outside my house. It was so noisy that I thought they were inside my house and, to reassure myself that they were just causing agro for each other, I peeked out of my window.
And sure enough, there they were, having a brawl, which went on for ooooh 15 minutes or so and left me wide awake from the adrenalin of it all.
Sometimes I wish I could play swapsies with my hearing. You know how when you were at school and you’d open your lunchbox and all discuss what you’d swap with your mates. I once swapped my entire lunchbox for a Jammy Dodger, such was my love for them.
So, if I could play swapsies with my hearing, I’d swap low frequencies for some clarity; for some of the conversational middle and higher frequencies. So that I slept soundly when drunken men had fights outside my bedroom window, but got to eavesdrop on the bus or in the office. So when the subtitles stopped for no reason during The Model Agency, I could still understand little bit of what they were all bleating about, and so that when I eventually get my cat, I will hear him meow.
So that’s it. Anyone fancy playing hearing swapsies with me? I’ve got quite a good lower frequency. Failing that, I’ve got an Innocent Veg Pot for lunch…
Anyone got a Jammy Dodger?