Friday 26 April 2013

A very Thankful deaf Friday

Today is thankful Friday. It's been a while since I've done one of these blogs. Or indeed blogged at all.

I've not been on top DG form if I'm honest.

But that's life isn't it. And that doesn't mean there's nothing to be thankful for.

So today I'm thankful that despite getting soaked on my morning commute today, the sun has now come out. Albeit with a few menacing clouds in the sky threatening to turn my hair into a frizzy mess once again.

Today I'm having a quiet day. My hearing aids are in a box in my handbag as I haven't got any meetings and the office is empty for a variety of reasons. I'm loving it. If I sit very still, I can hear the faint low hum of the air conditioning – usually a massive sound with hearing aids – and apart from that, just the door shutting as people go up and down the corridor. 

I can't hear voices at all. There are no voices. Although perhaps it's because it's lunchtime and everyone is outside lapping up what vitamin D they can get.

I know that my keyboard is probably making a terrible tapping sound but I can't hear it. I know that all around me there is quite possibly a gaggle of phones all ringing to be answered. But I can't hear them. I know that outside my office there is likely to be a blue-lighted vehicle with its siren blaring passing by every few minutes, but I can't hear them either.

It's wonderfully quiet.

Some days I need that quiet. I need it because I'm still not used to having all this sound in my life. I still find it overwhelming. I still find it exciting. But often I find it utterly exhausting.

How do hearing people cope with all this noise day in day out?

Is it exhausting for them?

And what is it about sound that I find so utterly overwhelming?

As a child, I hated fireworks. They hurt my ears. The bangs were so loud they made me cry.

Crying as a result of loud noises was a natural reflex for me. When people shouted down my ears, I cried. When anything loud happened, I cried. It was as though my body didn't know how else to process this massive sound overload.

But thankfully I grew out of that.

However, recently I've felt a lot like crying. The noise on the bus. The noise on the tube. The noise in the tourist-tastic areas of central London. The general hustle and bustle of the city. The shouting from the downstairs flat, the clamour of the TV, the radio, the sirens, the motorbikes. It's all just got too much.

So on this Thankful Friday, I'm thankful that I've got the option to make it go away. I can take my hearing aids out. I can put them in a box. I can put those thoughts and feelings in a box too and I can get back to the important things in life. In my life.

Wishing you a wonderful Thankful Friday peeps.


Tuesday 2 April 2013

Leaving my hearing aids out

Today is Tuesday, except it feels like Monday. Yesterday felt like Sunday, and as I have Thursday and Friday off work, I predict that by next Monday I will be utterly confused and only able to function if my Filofax is superglued to my hand.

For example, tomorrow I have a hair cut. It is a very important hair cut as on Saturday I have a very important wedding. Not my wedding of course. But I am chief bridesmaid and so need to look respectable. Right now, I look like an unkempt terrier. This is not a good look.

Anyway, on account of the days of the week all switching places, I thought my haircut was today, which would have been fine. Tomorrow however is NOT fine, as I have a load of meetings in not London.

Are you lost yet? Good, because that means I've got company.

So, as I was saying, basically I need to fit in quite a lot of stuff into this week, which isn't a week, which doesn't start on a Monday and which, at some point needs to involve a hair cut.

Regular readers will know that in my last post I was a bit glum about my hearing aids. I realised how dependent I was becoming on them and felt guilty that I wasn't enough the way I was.

Well as I write this, I am not wearing my hearing aids. I have not worn my hearing aids for three whole days. This is mainly because I have run out of batteries, but it's also because I fancied a break.

You see, I love that my hearing aids help me in my day job. I love that they make everything easier to follow. I love that, when my hair is tied back, they effortlessly raise awareness of my deafness. They act as a reminder that I need to lipread and that sometimes I might get completely lost in the middle of a meeting.

But when I am off duty and the company of people who know me better than anyone, I have decided to go hearing aid free. This means that at weekends, I'm going to be the old me. I won't hear the ringtone on my iPhone, the door buzzer, or be able to look down and still have a vague idea of what's going on on the TV. And this is alright.

I think that's the important thing here, too. Keeping in mind that my old world was alright. OK, so when it comes to my day job it was not alright. Hearing aids are invaluable here. But the rest of the time? Well, they can go back in their box.

Give my ears room to breathe.

And aren't I lucky to have that choice.

But now, it's Monday (Tuesday morning) and I have a manic week (2 days) ahead to fit in five days worth of work. So the hearing aids are going in once I have located some batteries.

Have a good one peeps.


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