Yesterday was London Cousin 1's birthday. She's now well into her teenage years and we celebrated with an amazing meal out with the Blanco family. I totally forgot I was deaf for most of the evening because everyone was so in tune to the fact that I needed to lipread or be given pointers as to what was going on in the conversation.
At one point I looked at Mr Blanco to find out what was being discussed and he looked equally blank. 'I've no idea what's going on because I haven't been listening,' he admitted, which made me chuckle and together we go back into the conversation and worked out what the heck was going on.
When I got back last night I was still marvelling how some social situations are so much easier than others and also marvelling about how recently I've been forgetting a lot that I cannot hear. I turned my TV on to watch a bit of the news but decided to take out my hearing aids so I could lie with one head on the pillow without them screeching.
And just like that the TV vanished. It went from being loud enough that I thought perhaps I should turn it down as London Cousin 2 sleeps above my room to being completely and utterly silent. I was gobsmacked.
I sat up in bed, turned on the light and looked at the TV in disbelief. I put my hearing aids in and the sound came to life again. I took them out and it was silent. I know I've written a bit before about my TV and my hearing aids and how without them I am completely reliant on subtitles, but this was another thing all together.
If you'd asked me before I got my hearing aids to predict how I would have reacted to this situation, I would have replied 'With horror and panic and a lot of running around and slapping my head with my hands.' Indeed, it seems when I find my deafness noticeable, I go a bit 'TV remote' with my head and start hitting it to see if it makes my hearing work better. Indeed like the TV remote when you smack it, it doesn't.
But last night I was totally OK with it. I didn't actually even feel sad. I felt a bit 'OH MY GOD MY HEARING AIDS ARE EVEN BETTER THAN I ACTUALLY THOUGHT AND I'VE HAD THEM FOR A WHOLE YEAR' but I was also totally fine.
I simply turned off my TV and went to sleep, which at 1am is most definitely what I should have been doing in the first place.
It's quite amazing to think that I've got this place of acceptance with my hearing aids without even knowing it. It's quite amazing that my biggest fear about getting them is no longer realised. And it's quite amazing that with them in they give me sounds other than my iPhone ringtones to enjoy. Hell, they give me speech and voices, which was something I never anticipated happening.
How marvellous, eh? How marvellous.