Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Hearing dreams

This morning it was not my ears that let me down, it was my eyes.

You see, while washing my hair in the shower – without my glasses on, obviously – I suddenly became aware of a rather large black blob moving in the corner near my face. And you see the thing is, if I could see it even without my glasses on, that meant that whatever it was, had to be massive.

And, upon throwing my rather steamy glasses on my nose, I discovered that it was indeed massive – all eight legs and hairy body of it.

Now, whenever possible, I do not kill bugs, except clothes moths as they eat my jumpers, so this meant that Operation Rescue Spider had to commence.

By this time however, he was staggering about in the steam, and I was terrified he was going to tumble to his death down my plughole, so I moved the shower head direction, leapt out the shower covered in shampoo and dashed to my kitchen to grab a glass.

By the time I came back, it was apparent that I should have really just turned the water off, as I was greeted by torrents of water running down the edge of my bath – I had succeeded in flooding my bathroom floor.

Then, I had to open a window – no easy task when youre covered in shampoo, starkers and the said window only has a blind and isnt frosted

I can only hope none of my adjacent neighbours were looking out their windows, because if they had been, they would have seen me, in my birthday suit, hair standing up on end from the shampoo, talking to a spider while popping him gently on the window sill from the confines of a crystal wine glass!

And so, with the spider alive and well and no worse off for his experience, I continued my shower – glasses on this time, incase he left a friend behind!

The chaos this morning reminded me how much I love the fact that glasses make my eyesight perfect in a way that hearing aids fail to do for my hearing.

Sometimes I allow myself to consider what it would be like if there was a hearing aid equivalent to glasses. Just imagine, I could pop them on and hear birds sing, children cry, cats meow and my violin and flute.

It would be amazing if you could be guaranteed a replica of what you once had.

I remember having 20:20 vision. I remember being less deaf. Every day, I manually create 20:20 vision

But every day I am still deaf.

But maybe one day heres hoping.

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