Thursday 30 July 2009

Go away noise

Just recently, I've been looking forward to weekends so much that Thursday has become the new Thankful Friday.

And today, was no exception. My teenage renaissance has passed and I jumped out of bed, looking forward very much to the day ahead and the anticipation that the weekend would soon be here.

I whizzed around my flat, washing my hair, tidying up, drinking tea, eating breakfast, and watching Neighbours (cripes, I miss Harold) before dashing out and jumping on a bus that was just pulling in.

And now, I don't LIKE it – this noisy, cramped, smelly environment. There are people everywhere talking, eating, yakking on phones, hitting me on the head with their HUGE handbags...

Right now, I'm craving peace.

It often amazes me, that as a deaf person, I would rather be in quiet situations. But then, when you actually think about it, it's like trying to enjoy a pork chop from a back-street butcher while knowing that everyone else is chowing down M&S’s finest.

When it comes to general noise, the quality of my hearing is so poor that quite often I'd rather not hear at all.

Sure, one-to-one conversation is fine. I can handle that. But honestly? The rest I find exhausting.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not some sort of hermit, and I do like group situations. I'm also more than happy to participate in conversations, if I can follow them. But mostly I prefer to observe, to sit back, block out the din, and watch people interacting with each other.

You notice a twitch of annoyance here, a spot of flirting there, a total and utter disinterest, or very rarely, total adoration.

I don't think people take the time to notice these things in every day life.

If I could hear, I doubt I would either. But because I can't, I'm afforded this rich, visual insight into the world of complete strangers. And that's kinda fun.

Take this morning, on my bus. I'm sat at the back and to my right are three identikit blondes who seem to know each other. One is talking animatedly, while the other two have glazed expressions and keep elbowing each other. There's a private joke between them that the chatty one is oblivious to.

Then opposite, is a couple. He's absorbed in his Blackberry, tap, tap tapping away, and she's bored. Every now and then, she'll stroke his leg, ruffle his hair and, right now she's nibbling his ear. He's totally oblivious. She's totally defeated. If he took the time to notice the sadness on her face, I wonder if he'd care.

And finally there's the couple who clearly have no issues with who likes who, and they're currently chewing each others faces off about two rows in front of me.

But what they haven't taken the time to notice is the look of disgust on everyone else’s faces. It's kind of funny.

When I try and listen, I don't notice anything. So I think I am going to try and not listen. After all, I reckon the visual story I create is going to be a whole lot more interesting.


BigBro said...

Every time I have to get in the lift at work with a Spanish person, I also end up craving peace. Luckily for me, it is only a small trip 12 floor up.

Anonymous said...

Just read your blog - you're a delight to read! And I can sympathise with everything you are saying, having exactly the same problems in Sydney as you have - i.e. saying you are deaf to someone, and them saying "no you are not!" Gah!

Anyway, will visit to read more often.


Anonymous said...

I'm right there with you, girl! The visual world is much more interesting. I often turn my hearing aids off to shut out the din, so I can relax and have some fun observing.
Nice blog, by the way :)

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