I met with a specialist the other day who diagnosed me with Crohn's.
Turns out my appendicitis wasn't really appendicitis.
After he told me, I went into complete denial.
I have a no-Google policy on medical stuff anyway, seeing as everything is always cancer or some other death-causing disease. So I just said, OK, and left his office.
The denial was such that I decided to go to Ikea, alone. I mean, who goes to Ikea alone? Moral support in that maze of a store has always been insanely important. But no, I had Crohn's, so I was going to Ikea alone.
It was only when I got to the warehouse, that I realised my mistake. Denial, it seems, makes you also deny your own weakness AND the size of your car boot. Neither of which could handle what I wanted to buy.
So I gave up, but not before I'd spent a fortune on bits and bobs I never knew I needed to help with the denial that I hadn't got the bookcases I came for!
I'm familiar with denial.
When I was losing my hearing I was in complete denial, heck, when I found out I was deaf at 10 years old, I began my longest reign of denial.
But denial's ok, because it doesn't last forever, and it enables you to get on with things while waiting for answers.
Right now I'm waiting for answers about my Crohn's. So right now, denial seems to be the best state to be in.
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