Yesterday, I was walking along the street when a man stopped me, clearly in a hurry, and said, ‘Phshf ghjdihg dhhghfidh?’
Or at least that’s what my ears heard and lips read.
I said pardon and this time I heard, ‘Do you know where Holyraw Road is please?’
‘Eeerrr, what?’ I said, with him looking at me like I was some kind of moron.
‘The. Hole. In. The. Wall,’ he said again, slowly this time, before adding, ‘Cash. Machine!’
And finally, I had a clue what he was on about. But it did make me laugh how ‘Hole in the wall’ can be lipread so differently.
Except I didn’t know where a cash machine was, so had to send him on his way, after wasting five minutes trying to get me to understand him – all for no reason.
I don’t know what it is, but people always seem to stop me for directions – even when I am in foreign country. My Pa is exactly the same, and as I look a bit like him, maybe we just have the kind of face that says, ‘Ask me the way, I know everything!’
Which clearly, as yesterday demonstrates, I don’t!
So now, I am going to work on pulling a face that says, ‘Don’t ask me the way, I don’t know anything…’
I will let you know how I get on.