Today I woke up at grumpy o'clock!
Honestly, I'm not enjoying being deaf at the moment, which is silly because it's not like I have any other option is it?
As part of my work for Superdrug, I've been set the challenge of writing a blog about who has more fun, blondes or brunettes.
If I'm honest, much as I love writing for Superdrug, this challenge has not left me feeling inspired. I mean, aren't we each responsible for making our own fun? And what about ginger people?!
Such a shame I can't apply this attitude to how I am feeling right now.
For example, pondering the blonde/brunette question led me to ask one of my own: who has more fun? Deaf or hearing people?
No wait, let's get even more specific. Who has more fun? Deaf me, or the hearing people I know?
The sensible part of me, the same part that's willing me to enter into the spirit of the Superdrug challenge and just get on with it, is currently chiding the self-pitying part of me for being so ridiculous.
But let's look at the evidence…
I’m in a bar with a group of girly mates and a selection of guys come and chat to us. Soon my friends are all deep in conversation with their men while I am left frantically trying to stop the guy focussing on me from screaming down my broken ear.
When I've finally achieved this, he's lost interest because to my right there's a girl whose ear he can scream down.
So it's 15/Love to the hearing people.
Recently, I went out to dinner with a group of all couples – who were all absolutely lovely. The weather was amazing, so we sat in the garden. I tried to follow group conversation but in the darkness it was hard to lipread, so I inevitably started chatting to the guy on left of me, as hearing him was no problem. He was also very interesting and had some helpful advice for me regarding several ideas I have in the pipeline.
It was only when someone passed comment on the fact we'd been chatting for a long time that I realised that chatting to someone all night because they're the only person you can hear is not what other people see – this worried me. What had they seen? Had I upset anyone?
So it's 30/15 to the hearing people.
Then there's the minefield that is telephone calls. Regardless of what people say, this is still the way to build relationships, catch up and erm… have fun.
Add to this an advantage point of being more attractive to potential employers and not needing a doctor's note to join a gym (the DDA holds no fear to some) and there's only one more move to win the game...
So what's the winning serve?
I think that’s the fact that I'm sat here feeling sorry for myself.
You see, while I'm doing that, hearing people are having more fun, and quite a few deaf people probably are, too.
What I’ve got to do is utilise what I've learnt, rather than beat myself up during the painful learning process.
I've got to accept I will never meet guys in bars – but then I don't know many meaningful relationships that have begun in one. I now know not to monopolise the company of one person just because I can hear them, as other people judge, and I've got to accept that life isn't always fun.
Life is a challenge. Guess I'd better get on with current Superdrug one then.
Wish me luck!